We’re Literally Almost There

September 4, 2019
Lyrics

Kerry Wexford

If I never turn this knob and take a step,
I’ll never know the feats that lie ahead.
Regret burns deep;
The fueling embers I vindictively resent

Trade endeavor for tough luck,
My mindless overexposure is a minor catastrophe.
I’m iridescent when a nerve is struck.
When will tomorrow happen?

Outside under a setting sun,
Light still lingering,
When will tomorrow happen?

Habits drilled,
Information misconstrued,
Looking back distorts perceptive views.

Give up the chase for
Acrylic chemical trails in the sky
Repudiate the contagion,
Shed all the lies you’re living,
Carry along through the disrepair,
Jettison all the plight you bare,
Don’t wait for tomorrow.

Channel the truth in the words you say,
In the blink of an eye you’re cast away.

No one sent me the address,
So what’s next?
Think I’m going nonetheless
(with nothing to expect)
No one sent me the address,
So what’s next?
Think I’m going nonetheless

Singe

Board the windows, dim the lights,
I won’t go down without a fight.
That’s why I wrote this song.
(What can I say? I didn’t choose to be this way)
To drench the world in black and white.
Out of mind, out of my sight,
You know you don’t belong.
(I think it’s true – My life is better without you)

All along the walls we’re painting,
I can’t say I haven’t tried moving on
I changed all the locks just to find out you’re still inside.

You doused your life in gasoline,
Took twenty years to feel the heat,
I’ve been ablaze here all this time
Stoking the flames under my feet.
This liver’s tired, these lungs are broke,
I fill the hole with pills and smoke.
No peace within’ this fuckin’ space,
Now’s not the time,
Now’s not the place.

This tangled tape preaching your song
Is set on mute but lingers on.
Let’s re-record this one.
Conceal tattooed skin I’ve got beneath my sleeve
(Conceal tattooed skin I’ve got)

All along the walls we’re painting,
I can’t say I haven’t tried, moving on
I changed all the locks just to find out you’re still inside.

Is Wayne Brady Gonna Have to Choke a Bitch?

This just in,
Read all about it
You’ll probably doubt it
You’ll probably doubt it

The things that I would say
(I was just a call away)
Knowing we were spending our last day
(It’s too late for redemption)
The things that I would say
(I was just a call away)
The penalty was both of ours to pay
(But only yours to confront)

I called a couple friends that you had seen the other night,
Wanted to know your whereabouts from who you are to what you have become
Back in college when I used to see you all the time,
I never thought I was gonna be the one left here reflecting on a rose.

The things that I would say
(Picked a bad time to be late)
Knowing we were spending our last day
(That sounds like a confession)
The things that I would say
(Picked a bad time to be late)
The penalty was both of ours to pay
(But only yours to confront)

I can’t compute effects of time constraints
Caught off my guard by shifting seismic plates

Fictitious news turns to pain
(The anger swelling in my core)
I won’t refuse any trade
(A shade of black I can’t ignore)
Abandoning the concept you’ll come back
(Heavy blow)
I never it thought it’d be so hard
(Letting go)
Each ending memory restarts
(Grief overflows)
Just to remind me at the end of the day
I’ll have to find my way without you
Without you

Youth Decay

Woke up to see another day, eat all the time
(Time is flying by)
The shadows underneath our beds
Turned into debts we couldn’t pay

(Pay your life no mind)
In my convoluted state
I start to crush under the weight
Of a universe the size of a marble
(Pay your life no mind)
I want to seize these fuckin’ days,
But my youth is in decay
I’ll just dance around the edge of my own grave

All my convictions are sediment in a constant rolling tide,
Like a perfect night of fireworks I watch my youth capsize
Robbed of that summer breeze I used to know,
Feels like I’m standing in six feet of snow
This smile is all for show

My world’s not mine anymore
The realization: so hard to ignore

Morals shot, growing up
“Gotta get ahead,”
Rather get a lethal injection
Hours unwind, I’m left behind
Just stuck on repeat all the time
(Time is flying by)
When machines have no fumes left,
Can you make the engine rev?
I’d chased the years away.
Suits and ties, step in line
Just stuck on rep

Sometimes this life is like a sentence.
An era died and I cannot deny losing my mind
Turning to ethanol to shake this,
Tried to get back “good times”,
I tried, I tried, I tried

(Pay your life no mind)
In a convoluted state
I start to crush under the weight
Of a universe the size of a marble
(Pay your life no mind)
I want to seize these fuckin’ days,
But my youth is in decay
I’ll just dance around the edge of my own grave

Brave Towards the Apogee

Staring up at skies shaped out by blacksmiths
Commercialized underground fortress
Built to keep you safe
But hunger always finds its way

It’s steep as you climb up to find there’s no way out of here
Programmed bots: A species coded to combust
Untaught, our sovereignty had turned to dust

Gasp, the circumstances strikingly unmapped
Actions have been stripped of meaning
Survival has you trapped

Cause as the napalm dropped
You turned your cheek, cleaned up, closed shop
In the vault, you’re desperate mine will always lust for hope within it’s rust

As it stands, when will I get a say?
Voted down, when will I get a say?
(I’m holding out strong like vines that scale up buildings)
Partisan, why don’t I get a say?
(infidels come to tear it down)
Sleight of hand, why don’t I get a say?

Like vines that scale derelict buildings
Fearing what’s beneath
Silencing the uprising
I want to fight but I’m faltering in dread
Newsflash, fear brought to mislead your brain is caught in between the press machine ink blot
What’s left to win?

Freedom of speech is just a gesture that means
that you can use your voice within
The chalk outline that marks your prime
These borders seal your fate with time
Freedom of speech is just a gesture that means that you can use your voice within

We’re hanging on edge
Never letting go as long as we can get a grip
Each being bleeds red
Let’s torch our way out to escape the bullshit that we’re fed
This mortuary’s lined with stars and stripes of flags we’ve never flown, with faults shown

Spreading rampant like cancer cells
Remission, walking on egg shells
Doctors say this is the fourth stage and chemotherapy won’t save

December of existence brings a battle chorus we all sing
And we are wanting to, longing to, forced into, but never dared to

As I look in my reflection, who would’ve known?
(Fear is a deity we will defy)
I would’ve got a recognition, a soul once owned

The coroners report containing the details of our final days will be obstinate, malcontent,
dissident, so come and get us

Bayonets and loaded barrels
Empowered by the harshest truths
Attuned as we prepare for battle

We wave goodbye to November to brave toward the apogee.

Convenience Store

Time, it escapes me,
When I’m swarming with the hive
Another day, a jar of change,
Can you reimburse my mind?
Have you ever felt you’re
Grinding gears and driving circles?
…Wading through an avenue usurped by overgrowth?

Costumes wearing thin
A fraudulence behind this skin
Young hearts without a price
Sold off like merchandise
The same excuse again
I’m in the red, I’m cashing in
Young hearts without a price
Sold off like merchandise

So Is it them, or is it me?
Or have I been daydreaming?
Nowhere to run, nowhere to run

I’ve got several questions running constant through my head
That I can’t speak aloud.
I was your foundation, but you built too high on me,
And I can’t breathe right now

Trapped here within this fabricated grin!
I walk the streets with my eyes shut to remind myself that nothing here is real.
Blacked out my past and feeling free at last!
Take everything I love away from me

Costumes wearing thin
A fraudulence behind this skin
Young hearts without a price
Sold off like merchandise
The same excuse again
I’m in the red, I’m cashing in.
Young hearts without a price
Sold off like merchandise

So is it them, or is it me?
Or have I been daydreaming?
Nowhere to run, nowhere to run

I’ve got several questions running constant through my head
That I can’t speak aloud.
I was your foundation, but you built too high on me,
And I can’t breathe right now

Doppler Effect

Behind the curtains,
The unrefined and insincere
Fall out of focus,
‘Til they begin to disappear.

Lightning struck me
I felt nothing

“So long, so long, That’s what you want?”
Prolong, prolong, “I know It’s not”

Front row,
Anxiously, I’ve been waiting for the
plot to twist.
The equalizing dividend
Last act,
I just can’t help but think that there’s a
scene I missed
Where is the payoff I demand?

Inclement weather flooding the high ground,
Bottled notions shattered to shards.
I feel your filter choke out the old breath at the heart.
(The ambiance is dead, the ambiance is dead)
(The ambiance is dead; the gavel’s sung)

Serotonin bleeds below the knees in spite,
The crowd’s getting smaller.
Dopamine recedes–
I know, agreed, playwright.
The crowd’s getting smaller.

Traffic control can’t get through,
The radio’s dead,
Flight ceiling stratified.
(Frequencies will collide)
Burning up all of my fuel
(Disconnect, The doppler effect)
During your ascent,
This is passing you by

How’d you spend your Saturday?
Motion felt so senseless and fuselage cracks have held me back.
(on impact lights flash, the abstract collapsed)
How’d you spend your Saturday?
Tightening defenses.
I’ve reached an impasse at long last.

Ricochet; silver bullet gone astray,
Where the sky and the surface seem to blend.
The airframe wasn’t built to sustain
A gunshot coming from within

We Sell Thomas

You stacked up every shelf until you found yourself collapsed
Trading support for apologies
You tried to climb back up but couldn’t find a step intact
(when will my conscience be clear I know I’m not at fault)

And each time they ask about where you’ve been
Is just to acknowledge you’re not with them
It’s always the problems that we create
The conflicts arise with each plan we make

Well it looks like you’ve grown into quite the “front man”
(Don’t think too much no one’s to blame)
I’m afraid you’ll forget me, you’re so in demand
(Priorities get rearranged)
I can’t get bent out of shape because I’m overdue
(What’s all the fuss? We’ve kept in touch)
Feel I deserve the same call you think I owe you

Like satellites orbiting,
Can we touch base?
“I’m fine”
Disbelief rubbed the rheum out of my eyes
“No — I’m fine,”
From a mile I can see right through your lies

It might seem complacent to some,
If attention to detail is lost.
You won’t see where I’m coming from,
But no matter what you’re in my thoughts.

Sacrificing all that you are will distort what you want
You’ll burn out like a shooting star, that’s for sure
I can’t bare to watch
We catch ourselves hanging onto sand,
To fill a crease,
To understand
The gravel slips through the cracks within my fist till we have nothing left

Making acquaintances, feigning pride
Bitter days make the loneliest of nights
“No — I’m fine,”
From a mile I can see right through your lies

It might seem complacent to some,
If attention to detail is lost.
You won’t see where I’m coming from,
But no matter what you’re in my thoughts.

Astronaut, when will you come back to me?
Astronaut, when will you come back to me?
Made an impact
With absence of contact it will grow

It might seem complacent to some,
If attention to detail is lost.
You won’t see where I’m coming from,
But no matter what you’re in my thoughts.

(Sacrificing all that you are will distort what you want
You’ll burn out like a shooting star, that’s for sure)

It might seem complacent to some,
If attention to detail is lost.
Can’t you see where I’m coming from?

Razor Wire Maze

Failure: Failure plagues you like a cancer,
That cuts like a knife inside

Guaranteed: leaving your limbs behind on the floor,
Carrying the rest of yourself out the door

Empty pints are like memories,
You can drain them down but they’ll never leave
Done with matches and kerosene,
Done with looking back, done with in between
I’m crawling through the barbed wire

Might just be everything that’s keeps happening
Crawling to succeed
It’s what you need to stand on your feet again

Soft and sweet,
Feel the blade trimming flesh from the bone
And I’m leaving a trail of meat,
Mixed with blood on the factory floor

And through a keyhole I can see a pupil glare
They came to watch me fail
There’s little time to spare
Reaching out with chunks of blood and hair
As I approach the end,
I know what brought me there

Failure
Failure
Failure cuts like a knife inside

I will never sleep again
(Lucid dreams, reality…)
(It’s all the same when you’re suffering inside)
It’s funny how the time is running out before the clock begins to tick
I will never sleep again
(Lucid dreams, reality…)
(It’s all the same when you’re suffering)
It’s funny how it’s starts running down before the shit begins to stick

You know nothing lasts forever
Because nothing stays the same
We can start again every day even after so long

Inertia

Faces trapped in frames; staring through
You’re forgetting all their names but they look a lot like you
(A lot like you)
Living this daze,
But now it seems your time is due
You try to change your ways,
But your feet are fucking glued
(Your feet are fucking glued)

The image of someone you trust:
Reminiscent of the cost.
Bright side views are bleaching out
the image of someone you trust.
A film devoid of light and sound,
reminiscent of the cost.

These images are seeping through,
Ambitions are becoming skewed
I fight and strive to stay alive
But no one likes a thriveless fool

The ember’s spark and fade away
To mark another loveless day
My knuckles bleed from beating on this wall

Will the lifeguard pull me out of the rain,
’cause I’m drowning in my thoughts.
Something is missing and I’m fiending again,
When the lines are drawn, pull me across.

With hindsight playing strong,
Show me the point where it went wrong.
…Nothing but irony;
The irony is written in my palms.

The guilt and smoking gun
have stayed in business far too long.
Now they’re a part of me a part of me.
The blueprints came undone.

Questioned decisions,
On site trauma is inflicted.
(I can’t acknowledge the facts closing in on me)
Questioned decisions,
May as well have been committed

The image of someone you trust:
Reminiscent of the cost.
Bright side views are bleaching out
the image of someone you trust.
A film devoid of light and sound,
reminiscent of the cost.

Keep tugging at my sleeve and don’t let go.
I don’t have the means

(I don’t have the means)
The means to reap what’s sewn.
Keep tugging at my sleeve and don’t let go,
I’m giving back the need to wear a martyr’s clothes.

Culprit hanging upside down
and Blood is rushing to her head
Little time to climb back up before you fall and break your neck.
While the hour glass is draining,
heed the laughter of the sand.
Little time to climb back up before you fall and break your neck.

“I’m sleeping through the storm tonight”
The rain stops in spite
The reception cuts again.

I’m a runner on my mark to race that doesn’t start.

“Sincerely yours, with regrets” the words I wrote, I never sent

Clinging to a cause for the years I lost